30 Sep 2010
And so, my sisterfriend - "Our Crazy Karen" - (who isn't crazy at all) - lost her beloved mother Miss Mary Care, age 86 - to breast cancer
And our sweet salty Karen who is carrying a broken heart right now - looked after her until it was time -
for her to go.
And I am damn proud of her. Cause I know first hand as a nurse who took care of the dying, and also as a daughter who lost my own mother to lung cancer - how hard it is to do that...
Karen is like a big chocolate covered candy bar - all crunchy and firm on the outside -
but soft and sweet on the inside....
she plays a good game that one - she'd kick your ass the one minute -
but immediately run to get you an ice bag and some chicken soup the next...
but I'm on to her now.
Oh yes, the gig is up Karen.
I saw how you were with your mother, with your family - always extending yourself and caring...and giving..and giving more - even when you didn't have the energy anymore...and you kept giving even when you felt scared and lost and under appreciated...
I also saw how you taught you children - who followed your lead and helped you care for her. How perfect was that?
so what if you sometimes cussed and grit your teeth and moaned and cried some...
you are and were - above all - and in no particular order
a mother devoted.
a daughter devoted.
a wife devoted. - <-- I can hear her cackling at that one...(but I know better Mark) -
and beagle devoted...and bunnies, and squirrels, and kitties, and carp devoted ...yes, carp...
and did I mention deer devoted?
she's bead devoted too - it's her oasis - don't you know - especially during times of storm...
even when she throws them across the room...
And I saw how you welcomed everyone at the viewing. Caring and gracious and making sure everything was going well - despite your broken heart
at losing your mother.
You loved her.
-even when she made you "friggin crazy."
We love you too Karen. I hope you know that.
Miss salty sweet who worries over everything.
I also want you to know that your mother, even though I never knew her or even met her - taught me something very important
the morning of her viewing - of all places
which was that we all should keep a "GOOD MEMORIES FOLDER"
and we too need to write those exact words on the front of it - just like she did -
and we should remember to fill it - no, stuff it, with
our own "good memories" -
even if they make you feel like crying.
For this particular memory is as good
as any other
and now, thanks to you and your lovely mother - I know now where I need to keep it.
Thank you, Karen, for enriching my life.
and Thank you Mary, for teaching me something new.